Origin of the Novel Species
Evidence for Intelligent Design
Thomas D. Schneider, Ph.D.
will spontaneously insert itself
under liquid to gas transition conditions of
to create the previously unobserved
The estimated probability of this
too low to be explained by thermodynamics
and therefore apparently represents intelligent
It has been claimed by Intelligent Design
that patterns observed in nature
with a sufficiently low probability
provide direct evidence for intelligent design,
Here I report evidence for the
spontaneous formation of a new life form
in a prebiotic pasta soup.
Materials and Methods
Approximately 2.5 l of
pre-filtered, activated carbon filtered and reverse-osmosis purified
(BestWater, Shaklee Corporation
4747 Willow Road
Pleasanton, CA 94588,
was poured into a
24.0 cm (inner diameter)
4.7 l open metal nonstick-coated container
(Mirro Corporation, Manitowc, WI 54220, USA)
to a final depth of approximately 5 cm,
and brought to
(liquid to gas transition).
No NaCl was added.
Approximately 40 pieces each of
S. Penne Rigate
(San Giorgio, New World Pasta Co.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania 17112-6457, USA,
www.sangiorgio.com, Figure 1, left)
(Barilla America, Inc, Lincolnshire, IL 60069, USA,
www.barilla.com, Figure 1, right)
were dropped into the boiling
At approximately 5 minute intervals the mixture was stirred
with a flat lignin paddle. At
~18 minutes the mixture was stirred a final time and then
poured through a rigid, hemispherical
plastic netting (square holes, sizes 3mm x 4mm and 4mm x 4mm;
22.5 cm inner diameter)
to capture the final products.
pasta freshly captured from
its native environment (background froth).
Figure 2 shows a randomly collected sample
from the native
in which several
are inserted into
The sample pasta
are suspended on the flat lignin paddle.
No particular selection was made to obtain this sample
6 Penne Rigate.
Three (60%) of the
Note that a portion of the environment
can be observed on the right side of the image
as a white froth containing gas enclosed sphericals.
It is impossible to observe the pasta
through this froth without disturbing the environment.
There is some evidence for ordered patterning of the
environment in which the pasta are oriented vertically,
but this was destroyed by stirring.
Note that the
depth is substantially the same as the length of
the two kinds of pasta.
captured population sample.
the final captured population
It is thought that conditions were no longer
authentic al dente
at the end of the experiment
and the violence of the trawling capture
probably disturbed the neophytes.
This could account for the reduced number of
compared to the rapid sampling shown in Figure 2.
From left to right:
sampled at 18 minutes;
sampled at 18 minutes;
sampled at 18 minutes.
As shown in Figure 4,
(length ~5.0 cm, outer diameter 1.0 cm)
can just barely fit inside
(length ~5.3 cm, inner diameter 1.3 cm)
with a clearance of perhaps 0.15 cm.
Under the turbulent thermal conditions
tube into the other
should be strongly disfavored.
No differences were observed between these
samples and any others taken from the environment.
To examine the internal organs,
We note that the two sub-species fit together closely.
is notably lighter than that of
evident was the smooth interior
Bubble plumes observed in
environment detached from heat source.
Three bubble patches can be observed
emerging from the dorsal end of
To confirm the observation the experiment was
repeated at a later date.
In an attempt
the environment was gently
removed from the heat source without stirring or
Although this allows the environment to cool,
it is likely that the configuration of the
pasta is approximately that in the natural
documents two related phenomena.
are frequently oriented vertically
are oriented horizontally
or at 45o to the vertical.
Second, bubble plumes emerge from
the dorsal end of
N. doubleous observed in heat-source
The environment was re-attached to the heat source
and allowed to normalize.
It was then removed again for inspection.
A calculation was performed to determine the probability
of the observed insertion events (Table 1).
Based on the estimated clearance of insertion, 0.15 cm,
using the clearance as the radius of a circle
into which the insertion must be made,
the target for insertion from either end is
(2 * π * clearance2),
Actually the target is much bigger because the tip
of the Penne Rigate
It is better to use the inner diameter less the
tip, which is roughly 0.3 cm (Figure 4).
(2 * π * (inner diameter - tip)2),
Probability of one insertion during a random encounter
is the target area divided by the Rigatoni total surface:
Fraction of observed insertions (Figure 2):
Number of available Rigatoni:
Estimated total number of insertions (40 * 0.6):
Probability of all these insertions by random encounter:
*This calculation was performed according to standard
Intelligent Design (IDiotic) methods.
It was performed using the
calc program with input
This paper reports an
observation of spontanoodlus generation
to create a new species
The Vertical Flow Hypothesis
Rigatoni become vertically oriented
in the convective flow of phase transitioning
H2O, thereby increasing the
heat dissipation rate.
This proposal is supported by the observation of
bubble plumes on the dorsal side of
It is feasible that horizontally oriented
that are close to the bottom of the environment
are drawn upward into the
ventral side of
are not fully ejected
because the dorsal
end of the
is close to the liquid surface
process does not have enough
energy to lift the
into the environmental froth.
would therefore be caught inside the
the probability of an insertion event
as proposed by the
Vertical Flow Hypothesis
to be extremely low (Table 1),
so we are forced to conclude
that the process was guided by some form of external
The experimenter was not responsible for this
The high temperature liquid was undergoing a rapid phase transition
Given these extreme
sterilizing conditions, no
life forms could have survived immersion.
We therefore conclude that this supernatural insertion
process was done by the Hand of God.
Although it is considered unethical to destroy
thereby causing them to go extinct,
the experimenter was hungry,
so he ate them anyway.
Notes added in proof
is also known as
an extremely dangerous substance.
It was responsible for the destruction of the city of
New Orleans in 2005.
See careful research of
the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division,
for further information.
A viable hypothesis is that a
divine Noodly Appendage
Flying Spaghetti Monster
was responsible for the effect.
These results are therefore strong empirical
in support of
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.